AC: Hello The Furious Sleep

TFS: Give me Yop, me mama

AC: Describe TFS to a blind and dumb one-legged whore who is tapping his/ her peg leg on the side of your tour van touting for business and who wants to know more about being a groupie for your band (let's face it… it could happen at any time) Who? What? Why?

D: Proto prog punk pretentiousness post-everything rock punch up.

J : Very fittingly, I was introduced to Dave on the night of my last gig with the band Interlaken (I was thrown out for being a too vocal vocalist!). Some time later, Dave and I met up and started writing tunes together. This turned out to be a pleasurable experience. Ex-band mate Matt soon jumped the 'laken ship and joined in on the fun with us. Things then really began to take off when the line up was completed by Tom bringing his multi-instrumentalist talents along.

T : It's a bit of musical flirtation. We like the summer months where we're forced to practice in our underwear.

AC: What might he/ she expect from seeing this rock n roll monster live?

D: Musically dense wooden-leg-splitting whore rock.
J : If we have our way, much volume and drunkenness.
T : None of our songs make sense if we play them properly.

AC: In the film of TFS's life story, who would play who?

J: Dave would play Matt, Tom would play Dave, I would play Tom and Matt would play me. Failing that, we'd just CGI it all.

AC: Best bit about being in TFS in 2005?

TFS: Recording at the Sickroom studios with Owen Turner; many great gigs, including Pirate party, three fun nights pissing off the locals at the Haymakers, the Tottenham Swan… to name a few; Ipswich punters (so enthusiastic); getting thrown off stage after 3 songs in Nottingham; the curtains in the Man on the Moon; the heckle "play some fuckin' melodies!"; visiting Roy Harper.

AC: And the worst?

TFS: Playing with asshole bands, for asshole promoters; getting thrown off stage after 3 songs in Nottingham; Dave's blood spattered guitar being stolen; watching The Mars Volta.

AC: What does 2006 hold for TFS?

TFS: More songs, gigs and recordings. We're planning to write a concept album with every song named after a regular from the Green Dragon in Chesterton.

AC: Any advice for other bands on the local scene?

TFS: Don't let Simon Baker owe you £50 (update £25 now). Never write a love song. When you run out of money, drink Alfa.

AC: Tell us a funny story about TFS.

T: A friend of ours was recently at a party sitting soused outside in the garden under a white plastic marquee. He kept turning to dave and asking him, "Dave, what pub are we in?"

J: The very same guy was told he was a 'Latino lover' by the Chesterton Medium. While Tom was told he had the musical power, and Dave was the giver and let in the light to the group. "On your way to success, do you fancy calling passed mine?" We never did get to meet Brenda though!

AC: Do TFS encourage stalkers? Have you ever been stalked yourselves?

D:: We encourage stalkers wholeheartedly. We're just in it for the stalkers....old duelling male cum-trousers. Smelly piss-stained strands of putrid flesh beard loping behind us wherever we walk.

T: Dave had a stalker outside his house once. She said "get a haircut, mate; who do you think you are, a fucking rock star?". That's how the kids in Chesterton tell you they love you.

AC: Best music "moment" EVER?

J: "You broke my sitar mother fucker" Anton Newcombe

T: "…busy busy, euurrgh eeuuurrrrggeeww, hairdresser on fire…"
: Watching Conor Oberst play 'June on the west coast' after being so drunk he fell over a cello

AC: If you could be anyone for the day, who would it be? (this could be a mixture of traits/ talents of different people dead or alive- be as specific/ non- specific as you would like… obviously I would prefer the specific option)

D: Do people actually get buried alive? I've just checked and, as of 07/01/06, there are approximately 6,525,486,603 people on this planet. I reckon at least one of these people is going to die by being buried alive. The Korean prince Sado was imprisoned by his own father in a rice chest, curled up in the foetal position; couldn't stretch or even turn over. They left him out there in the garden in his own shit with no food and it took him eight days to die. His father was pleased when his cries got so weak they no longer embarrassed his guests.

AC: Quite. And if there was one album you wish you had written, which one would it be?

D: Bad
J : Metal Box
T : Fevers and Mirrors

AC: Can I hear your favourite joke?

TFS: Why did the Baker have smelly hands? Cos he kneaded a poo. Ha Ha!

AC: Did you cry when Dennis Rickman was stabbed in EastEnders? (I did).

J: I missed that one. Back in the day though, I did have to hold back a sniff when Joe was carted off to the mental hospital. Poor boy, it all started out so well for him too.

AC: Chips or cream buns? (I personally prefer a nice raspberry pavlova…)?

TFS: Cum Buns 3

AC: If there is anything else you would like to add, please say it now…

TFS: Give me Yop, before the morning comes.
Crystal meth. = Boo.

AC: I thank you.

(Thanks to Dave, Tom, Jake and Matt- in spirit if not in body- for answering my banal questions with such enthusiasm. For more information on the band, visit www.thefurioussleep.com)